10 Bedside Items Probably Going Up Your Butt Tonight

1. A Treasure Troll.

2. That electric toothbrush you don’t think anyone else knows about.

3. Four different Magic Markers, ranging from ‘Indian Summer’ to ‘Lavender Meadow.’

4. A shoe-horn that you’ve painted eyes and a mouth onto with nail polish, and then hidden in the bottom drawer of your night table.

5. A He-Man doll wrapped in a baby-wipe.

6. That Eiffel Tower night light your mom brought back for you from Paris.

7. The big, black MagLite flashlight you keep beside the bed for ’emergencies.’

8. An icicle shaped exactly like a unicorn’s horn.

9. Two pounds of glitter.

10. A rolled-up photo of your 10th grade girlfriend.




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