3 Signs She’s Really, Really Into Horses

two woman and one man with horse and all pretending to eat grass

So you finally met someone special, but there’s something a little…unusual about her. Not in a ‘manic pixie dream girl changing your life through wacky antics and extroverted displays of emotion’ kind of way, but more of a ‘sleeps in a stable and doesn’t think that’s weird’ vibe.  You know what we’re talking about: your new girlfriend seems to be really, really into horses.

But how can you be sure? Check out these 4 signs that she might be more interested in someone of the equestrian persuasion, if that were actually, you know, legal.

1. She Put A Saddle On You

So some people are really into kinky sex-play, and as a modern man, you’re cool with that – until that saddle started to chafe so badly that you wound up in the emergency room for an emergency skin graft. You asked for a blanket, but she told you ‘leather needs flesh,’ and you really didn’t have an argument against that, did you?

2. She Always Orders The Hay

Or alfalfa. Or carrots. Or sugar cubes. Plus side: she’s a cheap date. Negative side: you’re gluten-free. It’s just not going to work out.

3. She’s Seeing A Horse, On The Side

She tried to hide it from you, but all the signs are there: the horse shit in her hallway, her absolutely destroyed bed, the fact that she simply can’t walk in a straight line after her trip down to the stables for ‘night feeding,’ the way her face lights up when he whinnies her name. The truth is staring you right in the face, and you just can’t seem to accept it, can you?

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