4 Sex Moves You Got From Your Dad’s DNA

Gas Mask Rock

Nature or nurture is an on-going debate, but when it comes to your bedroom antics, it’s clear that your dad’s DNA has more than a little to do with your relatively short list of ‘special moves.’ It might be disturbing to realize that your sexual skill-set and preferences are directly linked to daddy’s nucleotides, but trust us, that’s probably the least cringe-inducing thing associated with your pursuit of orgasm.

Check out these 4 sex moves you totally got from your dad’s DNA.

1. The One Where You Fall Asleep Mid-Ejaculation

Your mom’s been calling this one ‘The Falling Swan’ since her early days of dating the man who passed this unique curse on to you. Do you even warn your partners before it happens, or do you wait to wake up in the middle of them dialing 911 because of your fucking sex stroke? You monster!

2. The One Where You Cry Until She Starts Crying, Too

Is it your fault that life is so beautiful? Is it your fault you can’t come until your tears have mixed with those of your lover? No, it’s your dad’s fault.

3. The One Where You Won’t Stop Talking

Is a play-by-play really necessary? OK, maybe she couldn’t tell it was ‘in,’ but that doesn’t mean you have to narrate your fleshy fumblings each and every time you get intimate. Say, isn’t your father really, really into sports?

4. The One Where You Wear The Gimp Mask And A Diaper And Get Tied To A Radiator For Eight Hours While Your Partner Goes To Work

Actually, this one’s probably all you.




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