4 Signs That She’s Cool With You Masturbating To Her Facebook Photos

You met at a party last weekend, and things seemed to go well. You’re basing that on the fact that you had a conversation that lasted more than 30 seconds, you made eye contact across the room a couple of times without her grimacing in return, and at the end of the evening one of her friends actually told you her full name so you could stalk her on Facebook.

And now, the hunt for spank-bank material begins. Your ultra-low self-esteem would never allow you to actually ask her out on a date, but thanks to the invention of digital photography, you’ve got the next best thing to keep you company on those cold, lonely nights in your van parents’ guest house basement.

Check out these 4 signs that she’s totally cool with you masturbating to her Facebook photos

1. She Actually Accepted Your Friend Request

There’s really only one reason a man sends a woman he just met a Facebook friend request, and that’s to mine the deep vein of booty treasure locked up in her private photo albums. This is where she posts all the pics she forgot her friends took of her, plus all those vacation shots from when she was younger, and probably hotter. It’s like wank time machine, and if she didn’t want you traveling back to her early college years, well, she wouldn’t have clicked ‘Accept,’ right?

2. She Brought A Camera To The Beach

Camera + bikini + alcohol + friends = Facebook uploads from exactly the right angle to give you wood powerful enough to fight through the depression and darkness that is your daily existence. Who’s up for Round 5?

3. She Tags Her Hot Friends All The Time

Unless she’s the hottest girl in her peer group, chances are her friends are even more smokin’ – and if she tags them while doing shots dancing on top of the bar, then you’ve got a reserve spank tank for when the guilt of what you’ve been doing under your desk to a girl whom you’ve never really met starts to make Mr. Melty a more regular cock-block.

4. She Liked That One Post You Made About Whatever

Any kind of interaction between the two of you – and we do mean ANY kind – is her tacit acceptance of you gooning it out to her snaps. She liked that post you made about how you hate your job? Boom, acceptance! She sent you a Candy Crush request? Damn son – she knows what’s up with your right hand! She blocked you because you ‘accidentally’ liked 26 of her photos from four years ago? Time to make a fake account, bro!

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