5 Perfect Couples Road Trips For When You’re Ready To End That Relationship
Nothing says ‘it’s time to break up’ like four days in the car together. Road trips have been ending rock-solid relationships for decades, making one of these bad boys the perfect tool for splitting up that shaky coupling with your high school sweetheart / Debby from finance / that Tinder girl who’s still here three weeks later.
Of course, some road trips are more effective at breaking the ties that bind than others. Check out this list of 5 open road adventures guaranteed to see you flying solo by journey’s end.
1. Leaf-Peeping In New England
What the fuck is ‘leaf-peeping?’ Why the hell did you let your significant other talk you into this? Who are these people driving five miles an hour on a two-lane road with their cameras out? You just want to get back to the hotel and eat some pie, or maple syrup, or whatever the fuck people do out here when they’re not dedicating their lives to becoming human road blocks. At least you haven’t made eye contact with your passenger in over an hour. Because that’s how you think of them now. Your. Passenger. You’ve already started the forgetting process.
2. Her Family’s Place For Thanksgiving
A melt-down at 2 am when neither of you can find the plug-in pump for the air mattress in the basement of her childhood home after a seven-hour drive? And the entire house smells like a combination of her dad’s pipe smoke and his rank pre-turkey anticipatory intestinal distress? Congratulations: that sounds like a ticket straight out of couple-hood straight into Singletown.
3. A College Neither Of You Can Afford
Neither of you have the grades to be here, so why did you even make the trip? Make sure you remind your beloved in the car on the way home that they don’t qualify for any type of financial assistance, let alone a scholarship Why not cap it off by mentioning that out-of-state tuition is incredibly expensive? Time it right and they’ll abandon you at the next gas station.
4. Las Vegas
No matter you try to say to justify what you did in that hotel bathroom with those people, and that animal, and that animal’s trainer, there’s no way you’re salvaging this relationship.
5. A Cross-Country Journey Of Discovery In Your 20s
Explore the country. Feel the rush of new experiences, sensations, and emotions as you bond over the course of thousands of miles. See the mountains, amber waves of grain, and oceans that border this blessed land. Have your minds blown wide open, expanded, rebooted by all of the above – and then simultaneously dump each other on the Santa Monica Pier.