5 Vin Diesel Moments To Inspire Your Next Orgasm

Let’s face it – Vin Diesel can’t always be there for you in the bedroom, showering you with encouragement and confidence-building praise from the corner while you frantically search for the clitoris. That means most of the time, you’re going to have to find those orgasms – both hers and yours – from deep inside of you, all by yourself, and hopefully before you go limp from performance anxiety.

That doesn’t mean you have to scour the pleasure centers of your brain completely alone, of course. Check out this list of 5 Vin Diesel moments we’ve put together to help inspire your next orgasm and give you something to say afterwards when she’s staring deep into your eyes and asks ‘what are you thinking about?’

1. That Scene In Babylon A.D. Where A Submarine Shoots Through The Ice

Diesel used the submarine in this post-apocalyptic thriller to escape the clutches of the evil global elite, but you can use the imagery of it bursting through the ice to escape the idea that your penis is more a weapon of mass boredom than anything anyone would want inside of them.

2. Any Scene From The Iron Giant

Vin Diesel lent his low, bassy baritone to the titular character in this heartwarming film about an Iron Giant. Yeah man, that’s right – a giant, made of iron. Rock hard iron. Like your cock, bro. Any scene will do, really, because Vin’s rumbling robot sounds are there to remind you how stiff and creaky you’re gonna be for at least the next 30 seconds.

3. That Scene In ‘Fate of the Furious’ Where A Submarine Shoots Through The Ice

This majestic underwater metal phallus scatters a pack of cars like bowling pins as it bursts up from the depths to shower Vin Diesel’s crew with white hot ice. There’s a missile flying around like a heat-seeking sex machine in this one, too, so take aim and fire, big boy!

4. That Scene In ‘Pitch Black’ Where It’s Pitch Black

Kill the lights, draw the curtains, put on a ski mask, and channel Vin Diesel’s turn as Riddick while you hope the complete and utter darkness of your basement apartment will help you to momentarily forget how much you hate your body and allow you to achieve sweet release.

5. The Final Scene From ‘Fast And Furious: Tokyo Drift’

Remember when the camera panned out from the rumbling muscle car in that parking garage to reveal Vin Diesel sitting behind the wheel, talking to the other dude that no one remembers because he’s not Han? And remember Diesel’s closing line: ‘I’ve got nothing but time?’ He was talking to you, bro. You’ve got nothing but time to get to where you’re going. With your penis. We’re talking about your orgasm, dude.

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