5 Ways To Tell A Woman She Doesn’t Know How Beautiful She Really Is
Let’s face it: women are busy creatures, and they don’t always have the time to fully take stock of just how slamming their bodies really are. And their spirits too, we guess. Fortunately, you’ve got nothing but time as you sit there on public transit / walk down the street / stand in the corner at a house party / travel for business with a group of co-workers, which means it’s up to you to remind the females in your immediate vicinity that beauty is the wage they pay for access to our modern society.
Check out these 5 ways to tell a women she doesn’t know how beautiful she really is.
1. Whisper It Right In Her Ear
This works especially well if you happen to be in an enclosed public space where it’s unlikely she’ll see you coming, or have an escape route planned. Just sidle up behind her, lean down, brush her hair back from her neck, and deliver you softly-spoken message right in her eardrum. Then smile big so she sees how sincere you are when she turns around to confront thank you for being so female-positive and empowering her with your point of view.
2. Send Her A Totally Appropriate Text Message In A Meeting
She just finished wiping the floor with a stunning presentation proving how much her management initiatives saved the company over the last quarter, and now she’s sitting across from you in the board room beaming from all the praise she absorbed from the CEO for her dedication to the company. It’s the perfect moment for you to heap on a few more compliments, but this time, make them entirely about her appearance, and send them in a text message so everyone hears her phone buzz on the table. Her face might harden to stone in the moment, but she’ll appreciate you later for seeing through her professional competence and tapping into her ‘inner beauty.’
3. Snapchat Her A Dick Pic
‘UR SO BEAUTIFUL AND U DON’T EVEN KNOW IT’ looks best scrawled across a dimly-lit shot of your veiny cock, especially if you’ve only met the receiver casually, through a friend, or at a parent/teacher conference. Add some emojis if she’s really, really hot.
4. Get It Tattooed On Your Arm
The ultimate beauty process power move? Sitting down with your TA for coffee, a ‘date’ that you arranged on the pretext that needed to pick her brain about the upcoming college quiz, and then casually sliding your sleeve up over your forearm to reveal a message declaring that she’s completely ignorant of just how many erections she inspires on a daily basis.
5. Use American Sign Language
Isn’t the only reason you ‘signed’ up for this ASL class because of the teacher’s headshot in the community college prospectus? Did it seem weird to her that you just wanted to learn one very specific phrase before dropping out, stalking her online, and then crying in front of her on Skype after asking for ‘extra instruction?’ Looks like you’re going to learn the sign for ‘restraining order, too.