6 Surprisingly Comfortable Places to Get Your Dick Stuck

Mistakes happen, and they’re what makes us human – but mistakes with your dick are what makes us men. Here are six surprisingly comfortable dickcidents mistakes you may find your dick in.

1. The Holy Bible

Sometimes you can take “Love Jesus” a little too seriously. Fortunately, most religious literature is very generous with the quality of paper. It also has very stiff spine, so if you inadvertently get your man meat stuck in the Holy Book, you’ll quickly have your “coming to Jesus” moment.

2. Ice Cream Container

Passing out can leave you in a pretty vulnerable state, especially if the lights deim in the middle of a late night snack of the iced variety. The best part about getting your cone stuck in the ice cream bin? The numbing sensation that is quite relaxing, and once your dick regains sensation, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. And then the burning starts, of course. The burning stares from everyone in line at Ben and Jerry’s.

3. Subwoofer

Rewiring your high-end sound system is a headache, but it doesn’t have to be a dick-ache. Getting your noodle wedged into the sub won’t seem like such a bad situation once you listen to some R&B. It’s all about Barry White hitting that C-note.

4. Gas Tank

Sometimes ridiculously high fuel prices will have you doing illogical things , like slamming your car’s gas tank closed onto your dick over and over and over. Luckily for you, the evaporative nature of gasoline has a very relaxing effect on the genitals. Also, you’re bleeding.

5. Roomba

After a long night drinking you may not make it to your bed or couch in time and can find yourself passed out on the floor. Stay there long enough and your robot-vaccuum’s schedule may activate and your little mechanical butler will happily park itself on your stiff whisky dick, just like it did back in high school when the janitor found you sleeping in the hallway on top of his hall waxer. You know what they say: fucking one hall waxing machine doesn’t make you a painter.

6. Safe

Everyone stashes their valuables in the hotel safe when they travel. It’s also not all that rare for your dick get some action when in a hotel, especially if the scramble box on the PPV porn is on the fritz. Combining those two travel traditions may sound painful, but it’s not so bad. Besides everyone says to practice safe sex, right? DAD JOKE ABOUT YOUR PENIS!

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