Author: Gordon Dirk

Is That Baby Even Yours? 5 Questions To Ask Before The Subway Train Comes

Is That Baby Even Yours? 5 Questions To Ask Before The Subway Train Comes

MansplainedGordon Dirk- November 22, 2017

Everyone wants to be a hero, but let's face it: you’re running late for work, there's a big crowd of potential heroes all around you.

5 Things Going Through Her Mind When You’re Blowing That Glass, Bro

5 Things Going Through Her Mind When You’re Blowing That Glass, Bro

Sex / DatingGordon Dirk- November 20, 2017

She gets to see your adventurous, artistic side, you get to see her, well, for a second time.

5 Household Chemicals You Can Vape in a Pinch (And Probably Not Die)

5 Household Chemicals You Can Vape in a Pinch (And Probably Not Die)

Health and FitnessGordon Dirk- November 16, 2017

Pull that Glade Natural Orange Mist dispenser out of the wall, stab it open with a fork, and drip that juice into your pen for ...

5 Reasons Your Social Media App Didn’t Take Off

5 Reasons Your Social Media App Didn’t Take Off

TechGordon Dirk- November 3, 2017

Becoming a dotcom millionaire is harder than it seems. For every InstaGoogle or TwitSnap, there's a Pets.com lurking in the wings ready to feast on ...

5 Times Surprise Dad Dick Ruined Your Childhood

5 Times Surprise Dad Dick Ruined Your Childhood

MansplainedGordon Dirk- October 10, 2017

Is there anything more terrifying than your father's visible penis? Definitely not, especially if you're still a kid and completely unprepared to be exposed to ...

5 Ways To Lose Friends With Your Destination Wedding

5 Ways To Lose Friends With Your Destination Wedding

Sex / DatingGordon Dirk- September 25, 2017

It's your wedding, which means your freaky dress code must be respected at all times. So what if Steve is allergic to latex?

How Soon Is Too Soon To Teach Your Baby To Smoke?

How Soon Is Too Soon To Teach Your Baby To Smoke?

Health and FitnessGordon Dirk- August 31, 2017

They may not be able to stop you from ghosting on your temporary family, but you can at the very least prepare them for the ...

7 Dick Pics To Leave Off Your C.V.

7 Dick Pics To Leave Off Your C.V.

BusinessGordon Dirk- August 29, 2017

Everyone knows that you're the fucking dick pic master, but honestly, that's something that almost NO ONE should actually know about you.

Jeep Invents Time Machine, Uses It To Dominate Ancient Auto Markets

Jeep Invents Time Machine, Uses It To Dominate Ancient Auto Markets

AutomotiveGordon Dirk- August 28, 2017

"Sure, a lot of people told us we were fools for using our temporal slipstream displacement device to sell cars - but who's laughing now?"

Why I Did It: Changed My Name To ‘White Power’

Why I Did It: Changed My Name To ‘White Power’

MansplainedGordon Dirk- August 17, 2017

Honestly, I was sick and tired of paying retail prices for meth that I knew was being cooked just a few doors down from my ...