How To Ask For Help Without Admitting You Need Help, Bro
Dudes, I know as well as anybody how hard it can be to ask for help. After all, you are a man, and as a man you can’t possibly acknowledge that you don’t know what you’re doing, or that you might need assistance. Asking for help is something that LADIES do. But in this confusing modern world, you may sometimes find yourself facing a problem you don’t know how to solve. I’m here to tell you how to ask for help without admitting to your bros, or anybody else, that you need it.
1. Tell a lady that you need her to explain it to you, so you can make sure she understands. This will make the lady feel flattered, because you are paying attention to her, and you’ll get theexplanation you need!,
2. Tell a dude that a lady you are working with needs an explanation of the thing, and you don’t have time to do it. Then, hide outside her cubicle while he explains it to her! Added bonus—you’ve helped the lady, too, because she for sure didn’t understand as well as the man giving her the ‘splanation!
3. Sometimes your work may offer training sessions when introducing new technologies or ideas. Taking one of these training sessions may feel like admitting you don’t already know how the new thing works, but just keep in mind—ladies take the training sessions too! Just sign up and then announce to the class that you’re there to help if any of the ladies don’t understand what’s happening. This works extra well if the person giving the training session is a lady. At the end, you can explain back to her all the stuff she’s just told you, to show everybody that you understood all along! Score, bro.
4. Just fucking do it! It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what you’re doing, if you just get in there and do it LIKE A MAN, nobody will ever tell you you’re wrong! You’ll figure it out, dude, and if you don’t, then it wasn’t that important. If you break it? It was already broken! If you just can’t do it? Well then it’s a stupid, fucked up thing that nobody should know how to do. You don’t need this shit. You don’t need any of it! You’re a man, and you should be out there doing man things, like hunting and killing things and peeing on trees. DO THAT INSTEAD!
It’s that easy, bros! With more ladies in the workplace than ever, you’ll always be able to point to one of them and say that SHE just doesn’t understand. And remember—if it’s really that hard, then it can’t be that important. Fuck it! Chest bump, my dudes!