How To Give The Perfect Life-Affirming Thumbs-Up At A Funeral

Thumbs Up For Success!

Death is a part of life, especially for everyone who’s not in that casket/urn/floating as ashes in the wake of the fishing boat you chartered off the coast of Tampa. How can you communicate this massively important and positive frame of mind to your mourning bros? The answer is surprisingly simple – and it involves your favorite body part above the waist: your hand(s).

Check out these 3 tips for giving the perfect life-affirming thumbs-up at a funeral.

1. Make Eye Contact

Staring deep into the eyes of the grieving is usually considered a bit too invasive during such a vulnerable moment, but how else are you going to hook their attention and then break their gaze by slowly raising your two thumbs directly in front of your face? Remember to tilt the thumbs towards yourself, then the body of your bro, and finally towards the object of your life-affirmation energy before melting back into the crowd.

2. Preserve The Element Of Surprise

Sure, the parents are crying right now, but will they still be in tears when they notice that you’ve bent their son’s thumb straight up and used a set of toothpicks from the catering tray to pry open his lips and match his mega-watt smile to yours? Synchronized thumbs-up shenanigans with a corpse are the ultimate in showing the immediate family that life goes on – and also demonstrating why closed-casket is always classier.

3. Be Persistent

Your dedication to bumping the spirits of the grieving with a massive display of thumbs-up energy shouldn’t end just because the funeral’s over. Is there a wake? Bring your thumbs. Reading of the will? Don’t wear gloves. Gentle and cathartic poetry slam in the quad where your bro liked to bro down after class? Paint your thumbs in school colors and show everyone just how much life there is left to live in this world. Because if you don’t – who will?

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