I Don’t Care About Social Justice, I’m Just Here For The Ladies

group of college students outdoors

Mark, 28, was candid about the reason behind his decision to join an NGO at his community college.

‘I don’t really understand why everyone is so upset about the impact of cultural appropriation on multicultural communities,’ he told Manonizer. ‘I just want to get in on all this loose, liberal pussy.’

Studying at Chenoweth University, located in the heart of Massachusetts, Mark’s decision to become ‘more involved in social causes’ has placed him at the epicenter of a churning torrent women in their late teens and early 20s who are looking to get plowed by a man as in touch with his passion for thinking globally and acting locally as clearly he is.

‘I was in the quad one afternoon talking to this drama major about how frustrating it was that water exploitation rights weren’t reverting back to their original native American holders, as per treaty stipulations. When she got up to leave for class, she left a puddle behind on the bench. That got me thinking,’ Mark related to us.

Since then, the pleasant, yet somehow emotionally distant and aloof student confirmed to us that non-governmental organizations, letter-writing campaigns, and social justice rallies had become his new Tinder.

‘At first it was weird, pretending to care about all these causes and concerns that I had honestly never even thought about until I was knuckle-deep in some second-year arts major,’ Mark confided to us. ‘But then I realized it really wasn’t any different than pretending to care about any of these girls as actual human beings, which I was already aces at. After I made that connection, it was pretty easy to keep the momentum going.’

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