Is She The One, Or Is She Megan?
You’re six months into your current relationship, and things are going well. Maybe a little too well, in fact. You’ve been fooled before – by Megan – and you want to make sure that never happens again.
But how can you be sure that you’re not dealing with Megan 2.0? We’ve put together this handy quiz to help you sort out how you feel, and decide whether the next six months will also be heaven, or instead some kind of tormented hell like fucking Megan put you through.
1. Does she look at you like Megan looked at you before that night at the Olive Garden, or how she looked at you after that night at the Olive Garden?
A – Before.
B – After.
C – I don’t like to think about the Olive Garden. Next question, please.
2. Have you ever caught her going through your phone like Megan did?
A – No, never.
B – Yes, one time while I was in the bathroom.
C – Megan never gave me back my phone.
3. Does she get jealous of your one female friend that you slept with, whose name is also Megan?
A – Yes, but I kind of thing it’s cute when she does.
B – We have open and honest lines of communication.
C – I don’t talk to anyone named Megan anymore
4. Does she leave death threats on your mom’s answering machine like Megan did?
A – No, of course not.
B – We haven’t talked about it, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
C – My mom changed her number and then refused to give it to me, and only calls me from a pay phone, and even then, only once a year, ever since the Olive Garden.
5. Does she have a soul?
A – Yes, definitely.
B – Don’t all human beings have souls?
C – Megan had a soul, but it was my soul, and she still has it.
Score: Does it really matter? Anyone’s better than Megan. You’re lucky you escaped. It’s time to settle and pop the question before you inevitably break-up and start dating Megan again.