Lady Lowdown: 3 Reasons Why Ghosting is Totally Okay
Lady Low-Down is a regular feature from Manonizer where we talk to real-live women so you don’t actually have to. Because you’re ‘busy.’ Or something.
I’ve been there. Like many women in the dating scene, I’ve been ghosted by a guy a few dates into a budding romance. And like most females who’ve experienced this, I felt disrespected and crest-fallen. How shitty it felt to share romantic anticipation, only to be anxiously staring at my phone in disbelief days after last hearing from him, holding on to the concept that I deserved the courtesy of direct and honest communication.
Recently, however, I’ve had a change of heart. And in light of that, I want to reassure that men past, present and future should feel totally okay to incorporate ghosting into their dating tool kit. How did I come to pull the handbrake on this 180-degree turn? Check out these 3 reasons why ghosting is totally cool, and why women need to cut these dudes some slack:
1. Because it’s 2016, people
Courtesy is old-fashioned. The world spins so fast that no one really has time for shit like checking in, calling back or the dreaded in-person discussion. It’s hard to text back when you could be swiping away at your next appealing Tinder prospect, and I think it’s time we recognized that. Polite consideration is particularly exhausting, anyway, and he’s probably not some hold-over from the 1950’s.
2. He is his own person.
A man is more than a tool of a systemically-oppressive patriarchy. He has his own agency as well, and he should be entitled to exercise it as he pleases. If that involves ignoring you after seeing you completely naked and being consensually inside and all over you, then so be it. After all, you wouldn’t want to be labelled needy, or worse clingy, just because you feel entitled to a respectful let down, wouldn’t you?
3. You gotta put yourself first.
A guy (and a lady) needs look for number 1, don’t you agree? Think about how awkward it’s gotta be for him to have to tell you after a few dates that he doesn’t think it’s going to go anywhere, all while wishing you the best when he probably doesn’t give a shit about your aspirations. Why expect him to put himself through all that when he’s probably got enough on his plate as it is?