Sombreros and Funerals? Ask Manonizer

Dear Manonizer,

I have to attend a funeral this coming week, and I had a question about headwear. I know that many religions specify certain types of head gear for significant occasions – kippa, turban, etc – but what does your fashion sense tell you about an agnostic like me wearing a sombrero to a funeral? It’s summer, the sun will be out, and I can’t risk an uneven tan.

Also, it’s a Mexican funeral.

– Blotchy Tanner in Fresno, CA

Dear Blotchy,

As long as the sombrero is black, you should be ok. Really, any headgear you wear to a funeral should either be in tribute to the fallen – hockey helmets, birds nests (for ornithologists), and baskets of fruit are all solid options – or somehow tied in to the theme of your overall outfit. What we’re telling you is unless the deceased regularly wore a sombrero themselves, or was somehow associated with the rich cultural tradition of hand-crafting sombreros, or perhaps manned a sombrero kiosk at the mall, you’ll have to go full-caballero to avoid insulting the family – or risk causing an international incident.

Also, don’t forget that if you wear a sombrero with a rental tux, you can never return it. Don’t make the same mistake we did.

– Manonizer