The 4 Worst Things To Do After Your Workout In Space
So you’ve been on the International Space Station for six months now, and of course you haven’t let your orbital duties interfere with getting totally swole, bro. That being said, working out in space brings with it a few extra challenges and dangers that you might not have had to deal with at the Golds back home on planet Earth.
Check out these 5 worst things you can do after your workout in space.
1. Forgetting To Tether That Dumbbell
Everyone knows space doesn’t have any gravity, and even the ISS isn’t advanced enough to overcome that important detail of physics. How many lives have been lost when an errant dumbbell floated through an airlock and smashed open a space-window, letting in deadly space-rays and sucking out all available post-workout oxygen just when your muscles need it most? Tether that dumbbell, bro, and don’t become just another space statistic.
2. Accidentally Ingesting Tri-Methlyoxidate Instead Of H20
One of these substances is water, and the other is an incredibly caustic chemical that cools the solar cells that power the entire space station. Why NASA decided to store them in identically-shaped bottles – or give them both twist-tops – is beyond us, but don’t make a rookie mistake after your workout and accidentally cook your entire gastrointestinal tract.
3. Not Closing Your Helmet Visor Before Your Cool-Down Spacewalk
We realize it gets hot doing squats in your space suit, but unless you want to Total Recall your face and undo all that mad progress you’ve made between orbits 1,126 and orbits 2,458, you’d better remember to latch and lock that helmet visor down before slipping the surly bonds on your cool-down spacewalk.
4. Forgetting To Give Thanks To Baphomet
Baphomet makes all things possible – even in space. Baphomet brings sight. Baphomet controls your oxygen supply. Don’t forget the ritual of sacrifice after your reps are done, bro.