Too Many Wives? 3 Group Divorce Tips

It can happen to anyone: Cupid’s arrow strikes more than once, and you suddenly find yourself married to two, three, four, eight, nine different women at the same time, none of whom are aware the other exists. Nine wives in tow is definitely putting a damper on your game in the quest for spouse #10, so maybe it’s time to shed some baggage and wipe the matrimonial slate clean.

Check out these 3 group divorce tips for dumping all that cargo at once when you finally realize you’re got too many wives.

1. Consider Snapchat

A short, 10 second video summarizing why you’re filing for divorce (a life based on lies, aka ‘irreconcilable differences) is a clean and bloodless way to break the news. Classier than a chat client, more personal than email, and with the added bonus of being miles away from the epicenter of rage that will inevitably reach out and destroy your life in ways you had never thought possible when saying ‘I Do’ for the ninth time.

2. Have A Pool Party

No one ever gets mad at a pool party. Why not just invite all nine wives over to one of the many public pools near the YMCA where you ‘really’ live, crank up ‘Summer Mix 2017’ and then scream out the truth as you cannonball into the deep end of the moral quagmire you’ve built out of love.

3. Hire A Celebrity

Is it any easier for a woman who thought she was the love of your life to hear that actually, she’s number six of seven equally-valued contributors to the vast spectrum of constant emotional attention your require to feel validated? Probably not, but Scott Speedman is available, and surprisingly affordable, so it’s worth a shot.

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