Why I Did It: Breaking Off An Engagement

Real people, real life, real situations. Names have been changed.

Head1

“I Realized Two Years In That She Was A Cardboard Cutout – Literally”

Bob, 37 years old, decided to ask for his ring back when he discovered that the woman he had been dating for the past two years – and whom he had been engaged with for six months – was actually a cardboard cutout of a Coors beer model someone had left on his porch as a prank.

“I just thought she was a quiet girl – just how I like them. But after a trip to Key Largo that was just a total disaster, seeing her float two-dimensionally on top of the surf before sinking into the waves as a soggy mess just drove it home: it was never meant to be.”

Head2“I Lost Both My Legs, She Bailed”

Felix, 35, tells a tale as old as love itself.

“Everything seemed perfect. We loved the same foods, the same music, and both had the same views about how to raise a family. Then, after we’d been engaged for a month, I had both of my legs taken off below the knee by a forklift at work. As soon as the bandages came off, she was gone. I guess that’s just how it goes, sometimes.”

Head3“She Was My Sister”

Jim, 28, got engaged to his online girlfriend Stacey, who lived out of state. Things got hot and heavy on the webcam on a nightly basis, but only below the waist, as the two were serious about their Mormon faith. Then, 8 months after saying ‘yes,’ she dropped the bomb.

“We decided to spend the holidays together as the first in-person test of our relationship. You know, meet up and see if the chemistry IRL was as hot as it was on the web. The trouble started when we realized we somehow came from the same home town. And had the same childhood address. And that’s when Mom called.”

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