Your Ankles Are A Problem

Broken Twisted Ankle - Running Sport Injury. Athletic Man Runner

When you woke up this morning, what was the first thing you thought of? Was it your ankles?

If not, then you’ve got a huge problem.

Your ankles are 100 percent unacceptable. In fact, they are so objectively terrible that you’d better be wearing three pairs of socks right now, at all times, even in the shower. Scratch that: get one some of that intense, black-out ink you see on the arms of former tattoo artists and current long-bid prison inmates starting just below your (also inadequate) calves, and then put the triple-socks on.

No one understands why you don’t just do something about your ankles. How can you stand to be around other men whose ankle game is one thousand percent more on point than your own? Real men, with legitimate time carved out of their training schedule to hone ankles that make them better fathers, better spouses, and more likely to be promoted at work?

Is it because you are lazy? Could it be that you are simply unwilling to make the commitment necessary to develop ankles that would not be mistaken for the wrist of a 10-year old boy? Consider the message that sends to everyone around you: if the foundation of a house is weak, then what chance does it have of standing proud in a world that is simply disgusted by the lack of energy you’ve put into even considering how to improve the hideous ankles that you were born with.

No one wants to see your ankles. No one wants to hear about your ankles. If you do decide to get to work on this woefully neglected outer province of your body, do it in the dark, in the woods, as far away from other human beings as you can. Maybe once your ankles have graduated from ‘pathetic’ to ‘ouch, bro,’ you’ll be worthy of walking through the doors of an actual gym and speaking with trainer about the shambles that is your life. Until then, it’s Rocky IV training sequences in the snow. Think you can handle that?

No one else does.

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