Gordon DirkFrom the Archives
5 Ways To Lose Friends With Your Destination Wedding
It's your wedding, which means your freaky dress code must be respected at all times. So what if Steve is allergic to latex? Read More
How Soon Is Too Soon To Teach Your Baby To Smoke?
They may not be able to stop you from ghosting on your temporary family, but you can at the very least prepare them for the ... Read More
7 Dick Pics To Leave Off Your C.V.
Everyone knows that you're the fucking dick pic master, but honestly, that's something that almost NO ONE should actually know about you. Read More
Jeep Invents Time Machine, Uses It To Dominate Ancient Auto Markets
"Sure, a lot of people told us we were fools for using our temporal slipstream displacement device to sell cars - but who's laughing now?" Read More
5 Times It Wasn’t Weed in That Baggie
Are you tired of young punk drug dealers ripping you off with fake weed? Fake drugs are way worse than fake news, because they don’t ... Read More
Why I Did It: Changed My Name To ‘White Power’
Honestly, I was sick and tired of paying retail prices for meth that I knew was being cooked just a few doors down from my ... Read More